Good and bad

I've been doing good and bad at the same time lately. Or I guess I should say I've been neither. Every day is different.

On the bright side, I got the futon for my room =]. Walking through walmart with a huge box like that was pretty embarrassing though, I'm sure everyone was staring, that was awkward. But that was a couple days ago. It took us like 3 hours to put together, but I like it a lot and my room doesn't look so bare anymore =]. I got my old trunk out of storage as a makeshift coffee table and now it looks like people live here! So yay!

Me and Em have been like fighting-ish lately. She really wants to go out and buy stuff like deodorant and face wash and like travel toothbrushes and stuff to leave at each others house with a pair of pajamas so that way if we ever want to spend the night at each other's house we can without packing. At first it sounded like a good idea but then I realized I've spent the night at her house like a billion times and I never forget stuff and it's never a big hassle to pack it. So yesterday when I said I didn't want to waste the money she said I was ruining the fun. Well excuse me Emily, but I don't make enough money to just waste it because it's fun. Plus I just dropped $100 on a futon. Sooooo yeah.

Also! I can not stop reading Questionable Content comics!!!! I started at the beginning and wasted 2 weeks of my life catching up on the story! Hours of my life I will never get back, but it's worth it they're sooooooo entertaining!!!!!!!!!!! So if you're reading this (which I'm pretty sure nobody reads this, but whatever =]) go read QC! Start at the beginning and don't stop until you reach today! bahhh I love Hannelore! She's so OCD and hilarious!

Ok, well it's labor day, but I wasted all of yesterday so I gotta do everything today.
bahhhh

Feeling a little bit better.

Yesterday I went to the Stark County Fair with Em. I haven't gone in like 2 years because of my anxiety. But yesterday I went and me and Em spent an hour there, and I petted animals and had fun =]. I even managed to eat a corn dog, and I'm not so good with eating in public. The key was going during the day. Everything was visible and it wasn't too crowded. I would post pictures, but seriously, I only got pictures of chickens and pumpkins and they were taken on my phone. I don't know what I was thinking.

I've decided I'm buying a futon for my room. I'm the only person I know that has a network of people that tell them they don't have enough reckless fun with their money. My mom and my sister were like Jeez if you want a futon, get one! Spend some money for once! Live a little! So as soon as I can find some time to borrow a truck, I'm going to get one. So there.

My job search is kinda on hold. I'm afraid getting a job will just play up my anxieties.

Maybe I just need to grow the fuck up and do it.

Timothy: 4 billion Natalie: 1

My father has been a particular butthole lately. The other day he commented that he lives with 3 fat bitches, me, my sister, and my mom. So yesterday when he was sloppily piling leftovers in his mouth he commented that he liked my chicken. I responded with "Yeah, the fat bitch is good for something, isn't she?" He was literally speechless. Timothy: 4 billion, Natalie: 1. I did the victory dance when I got to my room =].

Yesterday I made some lovely cheddar dill cornbread and I've been snacking on it like it's going out of style. I just had some warmed up mashed potatoes and a piece of cold cornbread for lunch, which was very tasty.

Today, I plan on searching for a job, and a couch. Since Renee moved out of my room, it seems empty. It just doesn't have enough stuff in it. It was not a room meant for one person. So I figured, I have room for a couch, and it would provide somewhere to sit besides my bed, and a rickety computer chair when I have friends over.

Button had a major freakout last night because school and work leave her with no time to do homework. But she can't really cut down on hours at work, she just bought a new car. I guess that might have been a bad decision. She's going to be pulling a lot of all-nighters. Button is Emily, by the way. That's her nickname.

I got in touch with Liz last night to see if she wanted to hang out this weekend since we really haven't hung out since she moved into her dorm. She's loving life as far as I can tell, but then again she pretty much always does.

And what can I say about me? I'm still pretty much a shut-in. I really don't get out. The Stark County fair is coming in the next week or so, and I'm hoping to get out and do that to try and combat my fear of crowds and strange people. I haven't been to the fair in a couple years because of my fear of crowds, so hopefully this is a step towards recovery.

Yesterday was the 1-week mark of when I dropped out of school. I can't believe I let my anxiesties get the better of me.