March 23, 2010

I just finished watching Obama sign the Health Care bill not even 15 minutes ago. I feel today is a historic day, and hopefully this bill will change healthcare for the better and make going to a doctor or getting a prescription a bit easier for most average Americans.

For me, this means I can stay on my parents insurance until the age of 26. No longer do I have to worry about trying to find full-time work to try and find a way to get insurance while I'm going to school full time. No student should have to try and worry about insurance if they are trying to work hard to benefit themselves and the society of tomorrow.

To all those who oppose the healthcare bill (though I'm fairly certain nobody is reading this, whether republican, democrat, or otherwise) I would like to say that I know some are ready to point their finger, to scream "I told you so!", to rub it in your faces. Personally, I don't feel like it is my place to do so. In return though, I feel like it is nobody's place to slander the president, to make him out to be a socialist or a communist or a nazi. His intentions are good; he's trying to help the American people. Like it or not, he is our leader, and anyway, we have no control over the healthcare bill as it is, so pointing fingers is utterly useless.

Hopefully this will work out in the best interest of the American people, and if not, well, that's what democracy is for, isn't it? If we don't like something, there's always the option to repeal it. At least we can say we tried.

Enough of that, I . not to get too political if I can help it. The truth is, I don't know enough about any of this stuff to really make a true decision about how I feel. I'll just have to see it play out.

So anyway...

My life has been pretty hectic lately. Timothy is still living here, taking far too many liberties as I believe are allotted to him, and running around like he owns the place. But not in a bad way...I mean I guess it sounds bad when I say it like that but it's really not. He's being nice and trying to control his drinking, I'm just having trouble letting go of the past. But he is helping me with my room, which is something I'm trying not to take for granted. I appreciate it, really.

My room could possibly be done by this time next week. The carpet I ordered is in, now all we have to do is install it. And finish painting the room and the furniture, buy and install the light fixtures, buy sockets and socket covers, hang curtains, blinds, and bedding, clean, dust, sweep, polish, and rest. A bit overwhelming, yes, but I believe it is worth it.

Speaking of overwhelming, Sunday I spend $150 on lights! Wow! Definitely the most I've ever spent for something so menial. But they are pretty sweet. They're kind of like movie theater lights for my steps, because they get pretty dark considering the paint on the walls is pretty dark and we live in Ohio, which means we get no sunlight.

I'm actually supposed to be at the library right now, returning a tape that I've already got 50 cents worth of overdue fines on and picking up some books so I can write a paper, but the cold and wind and gray skies have really got me in the mood to just stay at home. I'll get to it eventually I suppose.

We're supposed to have easter at my house, but Grandma Judy says as long as Timothy is here, she wont come. I really can't say I blame her. Mom says she'll have a talk with her, but we all know that wont happen. In the meantime, grandma Judy, mom, me, and Renee are all supposed to go to this plant place (I forget what it's called...I've never been there) to look for a Bonsai tree for my room. I've heard they're really hard to take care of, I hope I don't kill it.

Emily's mad at me. Again. She wants to hang out so often. I know I've been unavailable lately, but having my room in shambles is kind of ruining me. It's my own personal space and it's destroyed. I believe it's kind of understandable why I would devote every night to trying to get it back in order. I need to have my comfort zone reconstructed as soon as possible. It may sould selfish, but if I have to sacrifice time with Emily to do so, I will. Plus, she works 40 hours a week. Her schedule is totally full, how am I supposed to find time for her? In a week or so when my room is done there will be time again. Right now I just need to rebuild my personal space before I go crazy.

That's all from my end for today, I think.

Love & Literature

Natalie

March 16, 2010

I haven't written here in a long time. I guess I just haven't had much to say. Nothings really happening in my life right now.

I get up, I go to school, I get out a couple nights a week, I do my homework, and I come home. It's a pretty boring existence, but I seriously have no complaints at all. I'm happy living like this, happy for the first time in a long time. I'm glad I made it back to school. Even though I don't have many (ok...any) friends there, I enjoy the time I spend there. I'm working towards a goal, which is something I haven't done in a long time. My life has purpose for once , and even though it's nothing spectacular, I'm glad to be working towards something.

Ok, so what's been happening lately? Mom lost her job because her boss is a dick, but she starts a new one tomorrow where she has to wear her grown-up clothes every day so it's all ok.

Timothy moved out in November, the same month Daisy died. In fact, he moved out 1 day before she died, which was sudden and heartbreaking. It's the reason Holli is so much worse now. She lost Timothy and Daisy pretty much the same day. It's not long for her either, but she'll be with Daisy soon, so I have no right to be angry or upset about it.

My parents divorce was final January 7, 2010. A new year, a new beginning. She got a bit too close to her friend Todd in my opinion. She wasn't completely truthful (and still isn't really) about what their relationship was and what it really meant, which pissed me off. If she wanted to be in a relationship, that's ok, but don't tell Todd that you're a couple, and tell your children that you're just friends. That's not fair to anyone.

Timothy moved back in about 2 weeks ago. He left his girlfriends house and really didn't have anywhere else to go. So mom took him back. I don't think she's being completely serious about her relationship with him either. Do I think they're more than just friends right now? No. Do I think they both intend to one day in the near future get back together? Yes. I must admit, he seems to have changed. He drinks about 1-2 days a week now, and he isn't really mean when he's drunk. However, I firmly believe that without help there is no way he will ever be sober, and it's only a matter of time before he's back to being in his own ways.

My Grandma owns a house that she rents out. Her renters just moved out, after destroying the place, so after the renovations, Timothy plans to move in there. Nobody is in a big rush to get him out of our basement. Not the adults, I should say. Sometimes it's hard being the only person in our little microcosm who sees things clearly and without emotional cloudiness. I would speak to her, but it does no good, so for now I'm just along for the ride. I will say this though, it's not as bad as it was before, and I tolerate living with him just fine. As long as it is a short-term situation.

I've decided that as long as I get into Mount Union, I will start going there in the fall. I'll elaborate more on that as the situation progresses...right now it's in the very beginning stages.

Renee's going back to school...but it's pretty much the same story. I'll explain more as it unfolds, as she hasn't talked to anyone at Brown Mackie yet, where she plans to go.

In the mean time, I'll continue working towards my degree in English literature and I'll continue to move with the current to see where life takes me.

Love & Literature,

Natalie